updated February 10, 2010

All's Well with Us ... How Are You?

Since you're still reading, I'm assuming you're a friend or relative or former student or colleague of mine -- or Mom's -- or both. Whatever the case, thanks for looking us up. If we've been out of touch for a while, this page should bring you up to date with us quickly and (I hope) painlessly.

If your immediate interest here is in finding out about Mom, welcome. I've tried to be thorough yet succinct in relating the salient aspects of her most recent years, especially since her 2006 Oconomowoc-to-Verona move. If you and she had been in touch but somehow lost contact, I hope this page will make it just a little bit easier for you to refresh acquaintances.

Regarding me, after teaching English or writing newspaper columns for most of the last 24 years, I'm now attending mostly to family matters rather than professional pursuits. But life ebbs and flows, and as you'll see, rumors of my permanent departure from public life may be greatly exaggerated.

If it's Chris you're looking for, she can speak for herself better than I can speak for her. On request, I'll forward to her any emails received here.

So ... Here's a quick sketch of what we've been up to for the last few years:

2004 - 2005

Toward the end of 2004, Chris and I moved from Winona (Chris's hometown) to Oconomowoc, renting the house next door to Mom's.

Through mid-2005 Mom walked a lot and read voraciously: The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, a steady stream of high-quality nonfiction books; lots of other good stuff, too. She and I took a few short trips; I think she especially enjoyed her high school (Dodgeville) and college (Platteville) reunions. Other outings included restaurants, a Tony Bennett concert, social gatherings, a Waukesha political rally and more.

While giving Mom what limited help she'd accept, I wrote newspaper columns
(I produced and sold roughly 5,000 of them from 1997-2007), launched the48er.com -- a website promoting top-quality nonfiction books, and began research for a Henry Dodge biography. (We're from Dodgeville; the most recent full bio of the historically significant Dodge was published in 1911.)

Chris immersed herself in producing the jewelry she sold, while providing the judgment, creativity, talent and good cheer necessary to turn our very modest little house into a home. She also worked at a local greenhouse, toughing it out through sometimes brutal mid-summer conditions.

In the early autumn of 2005 Mom fell and broke her hip while trying to cross a torn-up street four blocks from her home -- this after having had her other hip partially replaced a few years earlier. The surgery went well, though, and Mom started working hard at literally getting back on her feet.

2006

Although recovering from her second major hip surgery was challenging, by mid-2006 Mom was once again walking to local shops and offices.

That November, however, she became very ill. She would eventually spend three weeks in an Oconomowoc-area hospital, followed by 24/7-monitored rehab at Four Winds in Verona.

2007

Mom's recovery was very tough at first -- some bad falls, a wicked upper respiratory infection, shingles, and other complications. But by Easter 2007 she was much improved -- enough so that we attended Mass together at St. Andrew's of Verona.

While Mom was rehabbing, constantly driving her back and forth between Verona and her Waukesha County doctors was not an option. She needed a new, Dane County-based team of doctors and other professionals.

Screening, hiring and monitoring (and sometimes firing and replacing) those professionals -- while coordinating their services and seeing to related issues -- got much of my time in 2007, as did maintaining the48er. In August I also started working a steadily increasing number of hours at a research and consulting job related to the solar and wind energy industries.

In order to juggle the disparate tasks, I rented a studio apartment / home office a few miles away from Four Winds. I spent my weeks focused on the48er, alternative energies, and Mom-related activities such as visiting her most days and driving her to and from doctors. On the weekends I drove home to be with Chris and tend to the Oconomowoc properties.

For numerous reasons, we decided early in 2007 to move to Dane County long-term rather than merely temporarily. Both Four Winds and the UW-Health system (with which most of Mom's doctors are affiliated) had impressed Mom and me favorably. Each seemed able to meet her needs exceptionally well. From a broader perspective, Mom and I were both familiar with Dane County. Both of us had lived and worked here at various other times; I was born here. Lastly, Dane County's moderately enlightened progressivism is much more agreeable to three lefties than is overwhelmingly Republican Waukesha County's right-wing authoritarianism. In mid-2007 I sold Mom's house, put the contents in storage, and started planning a three-household, three-city move.

One of that year's highlights came a few months later at an Obama rally. Mom (who'd admired Obama long before the rest of us and who's read both of his books) got wind of the rally way ahead of time and asked to go, so off we went. Monona Terrace staff members were kind enough to give us some really terrific seats, and Mom got to greet Obama directly and share a hug.

Mom remains a big Obama fan and keeps up with politics and news in general via the State Journal (she had been a Cap Times subscriber; what a pity it's all but folded!), MSNBC and other sources such as Commonweal.

2008-present

In February 2008 Chris and I (and the contents of three storage units) moved into a rental about three miles away from Mom's assisted-living apartment. Obviously, this made it much easier to get together with Mom every day, to provide her with transportation, to shop for her and so on.

Her quiet, pleasant neighborhood is unusually well suited to walking. Most days when the weather's comfortable and everybody's pain-free, she and I walk through the large city park at the end of her street or down a few blocks to another park that features a covered bridge over a Sugar River tributary.

We're usually inclined to eat at our respective homes, but we do dine out together occasionally. Among the restaurants we like are Swagat (Mom's favorite), Mariner's Inn, Quivey's Grove and the Pancake Cafe.

Lately, Mom and I have been watching movies together every evening after dinner. There've been lots of 1950s and '60s Hollywood musicals, but also meatier fare, such as Gandhi, Malcolm X, The Shawshank Redemption, the 2000 remake of Jesus Christ Superstar and The Dorothy Day Story. We just finished Stand and Deliver and The General. Now playing is The Freshman.

Beyond all that, Mom continues to read a lot -- mainly newspapers and magazines, but she's also working on a biography of Dorothy Day. She also participates in lots of Four Winds activities and maintains an extensive personal correspondence. I occasionally drive her back to Oconomowoc so that she can attend social functions or have lunch with old friends.

In January 2010 Mom left Verona's St. Andrew's parish and re-affiliated with the Benedictine Women of Madison. She and I have been attending Sunday services at the Holy Wisdom Monastery in Middleton. Given Mom's long-held views about women in the pulpit and other reforms, Holy Wisdom is a vastly better fit for her. Though I'm not a member, I certainly admire what the sisters and the congregation are doing and it's always a pleasure for me to visit.

the48er is, alas, dead. It's possible I'm not the only person who thought it was a well-made, worthwhile website. But I don't have the time it takes to maintain it, and the "books that matter" niche is tiny and unprofitable. So that's that.

I still spend lots of time on the research and consulting project I mentioned above, though the job's evolved considerably. Looking after Mom's interests -- and serving as the family gofer -- seem to get most of the balance of my time.

Bottom line: Life is very quiet but reasonably good for all of us these days.

Please get in touch via email if you'd like. Here's an address that will work for a few weeks, after which I'll post a different address (a fairly simple, reliable way to limit spam): 4v2mk@nerhaugen.com

In the meantime ... Cheers!

-Dan